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Confront your fears You're never too old to find love, but that's not a message gay men hear very often. After years of "working on ourselves" and fighting social prejudice to gain self-esteem, many of us struggle to keep it. The gay community's — OK, let's get real, mostly the gay male community's — ageism. Who'd want you when there's some 30-year-old hottie turning everyone's heads at the gym? Focus instead on being your best self, no matter what your age.Don't post the online profile of Dorian Gray by showing off your shiny youth. When you know yourself better, you can quickly size up what you want in someone else.When it comes to truth in advertising, it's one thing to shave a couple of years off. Maybe you're more careful about first dates and immediately nix a pointless second night out.It's not like gay subculture has given us lots of happily dating, older gay male role models.With all the focus on marriage equality these days, it's easy for gay men to think that being single and happy is an oxymoron.